IJAPA THE TORTOISE
Why, the other day, he made a fool of Ijapa in a public forum.
Ijapa had called out to Monkey in the public gathering "May we not be blamed for that for which we are not responsible." Everyone knows that you’re SUPPOSED to say
“Amin” to this call. But what did Monkey do? Right there, in public, he rolled his eyes at Ijapa sizing him up and down, turned his rump, shook it right to left a couple of times and farted! Disrespect of the highest order! Ijapa was humiliated. “Who does he think he is? Because he walks on two and does fancy jumping tricks, he thinks he is better than the other animals?” Ijapa mulled. Well, he concluded, he would teach Monkey a lesson.
Under the cover of darkness while other animals slept, Ijapa got his wife, Yannibo, to make the sweetest tasting, sweetest smelling meaty yam balls.
Carrying the mouth-watering goodies, Ijapa made his way to Lion’s lair. From some distance to the lion's domain, Ijapa allowed the aroma of the yam balls out of the container to precede him.
No surprise, by the time Ijapa got to Lion’s domain, the king of the jungle was out pacing up and down, his mouth watering. Lion noticed right away that the aroma became stronger as Ijapa came closer and pounced on Ijapa.
“Se mi jeje, Your Majesty” (handle me gently), Ijapa pleaded. “I come in peace with a gift.”
Lion drooled. Ijapa got Lion to sit and carefully listen.
“I bring you this marvelous gift, Your Majesty. It is the least known secret of the jungle.” Ijapa said.
Lion drooled some more.
“Have a taste of this.” Ijapa presented Lion with the bowl of tasty meaty yam balls, which Lion devoured in a flash.
“Oooooo…more…I want more” yearned Lion.
“Good stuff, abi?” Ijapa rhetorically queried. “However, I have good news and bad news.”
“Huh?” Lion still drooled.
“The bad news is that is all, Your Majesty. The good news is there’s more where that came from. That tasty, sweet snack is Monkey’s turd.”
Lion’s eyes lighted up. “However,” continued Tortoise, “he only manufactures that quality on the dot of midnight. I greet you, Your Majesty.” With that, Tortoise took his leave.
Monkey was rudely awakened on the stroke of midnight when Lion grabbed him by the throat and yelled “Crap!” The stupefied Monkey, more from fear than comprehension, complied. Pinning Monkey down, Lion took a mouthful and screamed “Eeeeewwwww!” He held Monkey up, slapped him hard in the tummy - forehand and backhand, again and again, shouting “Crap the sweet stuff! Crap the SWEET stuff!”
Monkey was beaten black and blue; crapped all sorts; none tasted right to Lion. Monkey had no idea why he was being punished by Lion and had no idea what to do to rescue himself.
Limping across the village square the next day, he heard Tortoise call out “May we not be blamed for that for which we are not responsible.”
“Amin o” Monkey’s response was spontaneous this time.
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